Embarrassing Facebook Updates Website More Addictive Than Facebook Itself
- Embarrassment like this on tap with Openbook
Photo by arthurohm
I'm not the first person to notice that Facebook is addictive. But it's not addictive in a bog-standard nicotine-to-gambling way — it's frustratingly mind-numbingly soul-destroyingly addictive, on a par with daytime TV and 24-hour news channels. But Facebook goes much further than TV's lean-back style of dependency: it nails the chair to your arse and staples your eyes to the screen, maintaining a state of helpless absorption that's neither completely passive nor truly interactive.
Why does Crackbook Facebook have this effect? Well, I believe it addresses a basic human need for gossip — who's doing what, when, where and to whom. It doesn't matter if you barely know the people involved, just the delicious knowledge that someone somewhere is doing something vaguely interesting, offensive or illegal is enough to tweak the pleasure-producing parts of your brain. But there's a problem: the juicy details we crave don't appear that often, so we keep browsing the site long after anything vaguely satisfying has been gained from the experience. Once in a blue moon you might stumble across an interesting photo or revealing status update, but on the whole it's very very dull.
But now there's a solution: a site that delivers the finest titillating chatter without any of the fishing around. It's called Openbook, and takes advantage of two things: Facebook's search interface for programmers, and people who make their status updates completely public. Not only do you get to see plenty of embarrassing status updates, you even get to choose what kind of cringe-inducing updates are shown. And if you can't be bothered with that, just pick from a list of terms other people have searched for. Unsurprisingly there's lots of filth on display, but some of the cleaner status updates contain phrases like these:
- Playing hooky (maybe not for long)
- I hate my... (job/life/body/poor awareness of online privacy)
- don't tell anyone (oh, the irony)
So there's all the spicy stuff, little risk of awkward encounters with people you actually know, and all the stalking gossiping goodness.
Apple Rejects iPhone App, Receives Chocolate Seals in Return
Put yourself in the shoes of Canadian software developer Matthew Smyth. For days you have slaved over a hot computer creating a new iPhone Application, and now it's ready for submission to Apple's official App Store. The App Store is the only outlet for iPhone applications, and has high standards for both programming and content.
So every line of code has been checked and rechecked, every pixel polished until it gleams. But your index finger hovers over the keyboard's enter key — there's something nagging at the back of your mind, something that might get picked up by Apple's notoriously high (and not always consistent) standards. You can't put your finger on the problem, and dismiss it. After all, you've had apps accepted before. Confidently you hit enter, and send the app in for approval. It's called iSealClub. What could possibly go wrong?
Not too surprisingly, this seal-clubbing app was rejected by Apple because of its objectionable content. Smyth took it to the computer press, asking why you can't club seals on the iPhone when you can hunt deer, kill Pygmies, steal cars and shoot innocent bystanders. A good point, but somehow it still doesn't make clubbing seals seem OK.
The final word was had by PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) who thanked Apple CEO Steve Jobs for rejecting the app by sending him some chocolate seals. Made from vegan chocolate, of course.
I can't help feeling there's something a little incongruous going on... are chocolate seals the confectionery of choice for PETA staff? If so, what treats are being passed around at other charities? Are Barnardo's workers merrily tearing the heads off jelly babies? Perhaps anti-safari campaigners hide behind their Jeeps furtively scoffing Lion bars? Well, they have to cope somehow.
For the non-squeamish, and animal-rights activists who need a more direct release than eating tiny chocolate animal sculptures, here's a short video of the app:
More about iSealClub at www.isealclub.com
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