Apple Says “Don’t Surf and Smoke”
Be careful with your Apple, you don't know where it's been.
Let's introduce this with a few famous words from Arnold Schwarzenegger. Before he became the Governator, Arnie uttered some of the most memorable lines in movie history. I'll be back. Hasta la vista, baby. Don't drink and bake.
OK, so Arnold's culinary advice from Raw Deal isn't his best known quote. But it is a personal favourite and was brought to mind by Apple's treatment of two Mac owners who tried - and failed - to get their wonky computers repaired under the terms of their extended warranties.
So what's the connection? Well, Apple refused to fix these machines because they had been "contaminated". How could this happen? Nuclear fall out? Exotic diseases? Splashes of lead-based paint? Nope, it was something much more mundane: their owners were smokers and, ignorant of the dangers of passive smoking, had chuffed away merrily as they surfed the web. No doubt they groped the keyboard with their stinky paws, stubbed out ciggies on the LCD screens, and blew noxious fumes into the fragile little buggers' USB ports. Smokers are like that.
Not only had these computers been choked by second-hand smoke, but Apple was concerned about their employees' safety. As a responsible company, Apple wouldn't put its employees in contact with anything that's bad for their health. And, according to the American Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA), nicotine is a hazardous substance. Separately, those are two perfectly sensible statements. But by a less-than-robust logical deduction, Apple has put the two together and fallen for the new phenomenon of third-hand smoke*.
With third-hand smoke not only is someone smoking nearby a danger, but so is coming into contact with an object which has previously had someone smoking nearby it. Doesn't that cover a lot of things? Surely most buildings and vehicles have housed a smoker at one time or another? While we are going down this road, it's probably best to steer clear of anything a leper - I mean smoker - has touched. Or looked at. Or thought about. And if you pass a smoker in the street, it's perfectly OK to punch them in the face. But put a glove on first.
* * * * *
The term "third-hand smoke" was in the news in January this year following a research study on the topic. Unsurprisingly the newspapers completely ignored the actual content of the study and merrily reported on the new dangers of third-hand smoke. The research was actually a survey of peoples' beliefs about third-hand smoke - it didn't assess the dangers at all. Well, they say never to let the facts get in the way of a good story. In Hollywood.
Thanks to:
The Consumerist and the NHS
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